Why Goblins Are Really Scary
by RebeccaRoy
Summary: In which Harry learns a valuable lesson from the goblins, or why they are not upset he "broke out of the bank". Manipulative goblins.


_Disclaimer:_

_I don't own the rights to JKR or her works or Harry Potter, or any of that. Not British, not rich and not the creator of Harry Potter. So I make no money off this, at all._

_Summary:_

_In which Harry learns a valuable lesson from the goblins, or why they are not upset he "broke out of the bank". Manipulative goblins. _

_Yes it is a bit crack-ish but still more in lines of what I think the goblins could do. What is more scary, a person who can slit your throat or one who can rob you blind and make you happy about it? _

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Harry smiled tightly at Ron and Hermione as they headed into the bank. The goblins did not seem upset but then, who knew with them. Shortly they found themselves seated before Ragnok who looked bemused? Harry saw weapons on the walls and looked from them to the goblin who was trying not to laugh? What was going on here, this was not a funny situation at all. He could loose his head over this!

"Sir I am sorry for what we did, breaking into the bank and stealing from a vault that was not mine."

"It was your vault."

"Excuse me?" Harry asked.

"You had every right to that vault, it is yours even with Bellatrix alive, she was using not her vault but a Black family vault."

"But we did steal a dragon." Ron said.

"Did you indeed?" Ragnok said looking liking he was enjoying himself. "What do you know of Diagon Alley?"

"It is in the heart of London." Hermione said.

"What is London built on?"

"Clay." Hermione said.

"What is Gringotts built in?"

"Rock." Hermione replied.

"So were is Diagon Alley?" Ragnok said really enjoying himself.

"Below London then?" Hermione said, "but why don't people know that."

"They would if they had half a brain and if you had used yours."

"Well noted." Hermione replied.

"So no, you did no fly a dragon out of here, a spell may have hit you and caused you to believe you fought your way out. But no, we slapped a portkey on you to get you and a rampaging dragon out of our bank."

"Oh, oh is that why we ended up so close to Hogwarts." Ron replied.

"Yes, we are neutral in the matters of humans, but you were endangering the bank and Voldemort was bad for business." Ragnok said, "Griphook, bless him played his part well."

"Why not tell us?" Harry asked.

"Because of what was in your head, we knew and would have removed it if you had asked." Ragnok said, "Dumbledore was wise but never did think to ask us, we would have done it for a fee of course."

"Yea, of course." Harry said.

"Now there is a matter of cost of course for everything." Ragnok said.

Harry steeled himself, of course there was a cost, there always was. He knew never to trust a goblin, sure for the past ten centuries or so they were less warlike (the goblin rebellions were more wanting payment than anything else) and had very nicely agreed to never carry a wand (though they did not need one and never had) but they were sneaky. Bill said not to fully trust one unless there was a contract in front of one and Harry wished he had done that now when he had worked with Griphook.

"You did save the life of Griphook and so that was why he helped you." Ragnok said, "so the total cost is 20 galleons for the portkey, that is for the dragon, you and your friends for you to pay Mr. Potter, you should not have brought a Horcrux into the bank."

"I didn't know I was one." Harry said.

"Too bad, Griphook did and that is why he did what he did, so you pay twenty galleons and get to go visit your vaults, three, all lessor ones are combined, you have the Potter, Fleamont and Black vaults, and you are related to all four founders."

"That is cool." Harry said.

"So are everyone else who is part of the sacred 28." Ragnok said, "so no gold or money or anything from that, just bragging rights and not much of that."

"Right, I feel like you are making fun of me." Harry grumbled.

"Not at all, though it was entertaining to help out while staying neutral." Ragnok said.

"Next thing you will tell us is that Flitwick isn't even a goblin."

"Honestly Ron, he is not by blood." Hermione said, "goblins are not allowed wands, not even half goblins, not that a goblin would ever get together with a human.."

"Too true, but he is an honorary goblin, so he can honestly state he is goblin though not by blood, so as a wizard human he has certain rights."

"Why is he an honorary goblin?" Harry asked.

"Not answering that." Ragnok said, "I will say it involved a bet, a dragon, two bottles of mead and Thor's hammer, and the outcome was good for the goblin nation."

"Right." Harry said.

"So you have vaults, the Potter vault has 250,000 galleons, the Black vault total now has 1,000,000 galleons and the Fleamont 500,000."

"Wow, I am sorry Ron." Harry said.

"Don't be, I don't want to be an Auror now, I am going into business with Fred and George."

Now Fred was dead, he was as dead as dead could be. However he refused to move on and was with George nearly all the time now. George would not have been able to go on without him so Fred stuck around. He was the brains of the operation and with Ron on board to do as he asked, well it meant that WWW was going to go lots of places. Already Ron was showing he had a brain for business and had even gotten a tiny, very tiny foothold in America via Canada that he hoped would really get the company going.

"I am going to go get my parents, restore their memories." Hermione saw Ragnok looking at the ceiling as if he was counting "I saved their lives."

"Ten galleons for an illusion charm." Ragnok said leaning forward to face Hermione, "did you ever wonder why your parents were so very accepting of this world and never pulled you out of Hogwarts?"

"No sir." Hermione replied.

"It's because your mother was our dentist, most humans will not work with us, but there are some like your mother, she knew of the magical world long before you did but was forced to stay quiet by your ministry."

"So they are not spelled, next thing you will tell me is that they are not in Australia?"

"They are not, been getting rich nice and safe here."

"Oh, I feel like a fool."

"Yea and they are having too much fun." Ron grumbled.

Harry left the bank that day in full agreement with Bill, goblins were something else and he was not sure he liked them. When confronted by the press he had very little to say but this "never mess with the goblins, I really don't want to talk about it". This turned into headlines of the sort that said "Man-Who-Conquered survives goblin war" and "After major battle Harry Potter leaves Gringotts victor". All the while the goblins went about their business once more besting the humans who really should never, ever mess with a goblin. After all laughing at humans was always the better way. Which reminded Ragnok, it was time to pay a certain ghost professor a visit, one could never talk too much about goblin rebellions after all.

The End


End file.
